I dug a hole in the backyard, approximately
three feet wide and four deep and afterward
couldn’t remember why I’d done it
so Kristin and I made a pitcher of Manhattans
and lists of all the things small and insignificant
enough that they could be buried there
A few more people left, a few more arrived
It’s like a bus (terminal), life, I guess
and after a while, the lady at the ticket counter
stops playing that game where she names each face
and writes them into her romantic tragedy
and simply directs the traffic toward the end of the line
I met this generation’s Cohen
He doesn’t have ears to hear that, but I still have
enough wonder left behind these blind eyes to believe it
and I locked the doors and turned out the lights and sat
for a week with a tea kettle and a whiskey bottle and exorcised
every word I’d ever spoken in my dreams to every ghost
and made them permanent and then slept
I went to the hospital once or twice where they refused
to believe me when I said my heart was beyond repair
and I took up painting and converted the garage into a studio
and then a gym and then an office and then a studio again
I wrote letters I didn’t intend to send, jokes for the people
that don’t realise they’re playing the game and confessions
for those that do, and I photographed undefined moments
My cat died and Erica’s cat died; it was a bad year for cats
apparently, but Kristin pointed out I’d found a use for that hole
It was too late, though; I’d already filled it in with July
Jeremy, August, my father, October, Christmas at your parents’,
what was left of January, and the year’s only snowfall
and looking now, you’d never know it was there at all